Wednesday, September 11: Share links to your favorite online shops, preferably with a few photos of your favorite items in each shop.
I'm going to have to skip this one. I am not much of an online shopper. Really, I am not much of a shopper at all.
Don't get me wrong. I love shopping. I just don't do it very often. Here are my reasons:
1. The whole driving-makes-me-a-panicky-ball-of-mess thing. Even when I lived in Farmerville Corn Country Ohio, I didn't drive unless absolutely necessary (to work, to take friends home from a party ONCE because HELLO... what will make me feel WORSE driving at night than a bunch of drunk or tipsy passengers?! But I did want to ensure they were safely home). Here in Greater Greenville area, driving is a complete nightmare. Pair multiple traffic lanes with Southern drivers (you know who you are; you clearly don't know what you're doing) and add in my mental incapacity for meltdowns behind the wheel, and it equals out to me having a closet full of very old clothes and shoes full of holes.
2. I feel guilty. Pretty much every purchase I make comes with some guilt. Yesterday I decided to get Chinese food for lunch. It is pretty rare that I go out for a meal, but I just had to have an egg roll, you know? Okay, two egg rolls and an order of chicken and broccoli. I didn't even eat both egg rolls yesterday (though I did save one to eat today!) so don't judge me. I think my total came to $7.something. As I left the little restaurant, I just felt bad. The things that run through my head when I make ANY purchase range from: "Well, I shouldn't go out the rest of the week now," to "If you had not bought that food and just eaten some yogurt from the stock at the office, you could have used that money to send to some orphaned child in Peru!" And this is just about lunch. Imagine how crushed I feel when I purchase something significant... Okay, you can imagine it because I can't. Even splurging on a fancier skein of yarn makes me cringe... I bet you can even guess why my hair hasn't been cut since May! It's pretty awful. I'm not necessarily a penny pincher. I just don't like spending money.
3. I like to pay with cash. I don't like giving out my card numbers or subscribing to new store cards or anything. It feels risky to me and I am proud of my credit score.
I do have one splurge event that I love. I have lived in Greenville for two years and gladly discovered the Really Good, Really Big, Really Cheap Book Sale the first year. It is an annual sale and it is AMAZING. This year, I spent $40.00 and bought 25 books. That's less than two dollars a book. $40 may not seem like a lot, but when I can't even buy a cup of hot cocoa without questioning everything I believe in, it's a lot. And it is the one time that I don't even let myself feel guilty. :)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Turning Point
Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.
I have a moment in mind, but I can't use it.
I have to come up with another.
Ah! Got one. I was almost 16. Let's back it up.
I've been a follower of Jesus my whole life. I had an active prayer life as a child, I loved VBS, I wore W.W.J.D. bracelets like there was no tomorrow. My family did not go to church regularly, but we weren't Christmas-and-Easter-only church goers, either. We went. Sometimes.
Now, when I was on the brink of turning 16, just a few weeks before, really, I attended my first Summer In The Son week at Kentucky Christian College (now University). It was in June of 2002. I had been attending a very large (for the area) church for a few years by this time and I was actively involved in small groups, Wednesday night teen events, and other activities the church offered. It was not until SITS 2002, however, that I realized that I loved God but was not living for God. I was living for me. And I was living for friends. And I was living for my boyfriend.
Ahh, my teen boyfriend. High school sweetheart. I loved him with the full capacity of my fifteen year old heart. He knew that I was committed to purity and saving myself for marriage and he was pretty good about it. Let's consider that this boyfriend didn't really believe in God in the same way I did and did not entirely understand my decision. Also consider that he was three years older than me and we had been "going out" for over two years. And he was good looking. He could have gotten it else ware, if you know what I mean. I know that he fully loved me with as much capacity as he had in him, too. It was awesome. It was real. I mean, we were KIDS but it was real. And I had made him a real idol. I lived and breathed for him.
Some of the messages at SITS 2002 that week were meant so specifically for me that it is uncanny. It might sound weird and I can't really explain it, but I knew somehow that this relationship was keeping me from living for God. And after that week, that was all I wanted for my life.
It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but when I got home from KCC that week, I broke up with my boyfriend in order to live for God. It was awful. He was so depressed (so was I) that I legitimately worried for his safety. I still would see him at school and we tried to be amicable. We still tried to hang out for several months, but it was too hard. I begged and pleaded with God to let us get back together someday, but that was not in the plans and I'm fine with it now. I had gained an awesome trust in God that year, but I was depressed about giving up my boyfriend.
Eventually, it got better. With time comes the ease of pain. I know that this might not sound like a big deal to most people and I probably sound like a sentimental sap, but it was genuinely tough. He was my first love and he left a huge impression on my life.
There's a semi happy ending... He married and settled down after some time. Quite a long while later, so did I. We don't keep in touch, but it's not because we hate each other or have any bitterness. We live several states apart and I don't think he even has Facebook or anything. He made good pals with my stepdad and would still come over from time to time when I was in high school, college, and even after. It's hard to explain the sort of bittersweet tenderness with which I still pray for him when I think of him.
And don't take this to mean I still have feelings for him. I don't. We broke up over ten years ago when I was a kid. I am very happily married to my love. But I probably wouldn't be if my life had not taken that turn.
I have a moment in mind, but I can't use it.
I have to come up with another.
Ah! Got one. I was almost 16. Let's back it up.
I've been a follower of Jesus my whole life. I had an active prayer life as a child, I loved VBS, I wore W.W.J.D. bracelets like there was no tomorrow. My family did not go to church regularly, but we weren't Christmas-and-Easter-only church goers, either. We went. Sometimes.
Now, when I was on the brink of turning 16, just a few weeks before, really, I attended my first Summer In The Son week at Kentucky Christian College (now University). It was in June of 2002. I had been attending a very large (for the area) church for a few years by this time and I was actively involved in small groups, Wednesday night teen events, and other activities the church offered. It was not until SITS 2002, however, that I realized that I loved God but was not living for God. I was living for me. And I was living for friends. And I was living for my boyfriend.
Ahh, my teen boyfriend. High school sweetheart. I loved him with the full capacity of my fifteen year old heart. He knew that I was committed to purity and saving myself for marriage and he was pretty good about it. Let's consider that this boyfriend didn't really believe in God in the same way I did and did not entirely understand my decision. Also consider that he was three years older than me and we had been "going out" for over two years. And he was good looking. He could have gotten it else ware, if you know what I mean. I know that he fully loved me with as much capacity as he had in him, too. It was awesome. It was real. I mean, we were KIDS but it was real. And I had made him a real idol. I lived and breathed for him.
Some of the messages at SITS 2002 that week were meant so specifically for me that it is uncanny. It might sound weird and I can't really explain it, but I knew somehow that this relationship was keeping me from living for God. And after that week, that was all I wanted for my life.
It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but when I got home from KCC that week, I broke up with my boyfriend in order to live for God. It was awful. He was so depressed (so was I) that I legitimately worried for his safety. I still would see him at school and we tried to be amicable. We still tried to hang out for several months, but it was too hard. I begged and pleaded with God to let us get back together someday, but that was not in the plans and I'm fine with it now. I had gained an awesome trust in God that year, but I was depressed about giving up my boyfriend.
Eventually, it got better. With time comes the ease of pain. I know that this might not sound like a big deal to most people and I probably sound like a sentimental sap, but it was genuinely tough. He was my first love and he left a huge impression on my life.
There's a semi happy ending... He married and settled down after some time. Quite a long while later, so did I. We don't keep in touch, but it's not because we hate each other or have any bitterness. We live several states apart and I don't think he even has Facebook or anything. He made good pals with my stepdad and would still come over from time to time when I was in high school, college, and even after. It's hard to explain the sort of bittersweet tenderness with which I still pray for him when I think of him.
And don't take this to mean I still have feelings for him. I don't. We broke up over ten years ago when I was a kid. I am very happily married to my love. But I probably wouldn't be if my life had not taken that turn.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Judgey, brain-excusing, hermit.
Monday, September 9: Take this short
personality test and respond to your results. (at the end, find the
detailed profile of your personality account – click “click to view”
under “You” and “self awareness and personal growth.” You can even
google your type and find more info on it!)
It's funny. I always considered myself to be something of an extrovert while growing up. I think I almost needed to be social because my sister was so shy and my brother was always getting in to trouble. Living in their shadows, I needed to be different, and different meant social butterfly. I went to a tiny school in a town where everyone knew everyone and I think there were about 50 students in my graduating class. I made it a point to look through my yearbook each year to make sure I had spoken to everyone in my class. I was not a very popular girl, but I was a nice girl and I liked just about everyone.
Since college, however, I have found it astonishingly hard to make friends. I feel less comfortable in crowds. I like being home and working on crafts or reading or spending time with my husband... Going out after I get home from work is a chore. But I do get lonely for a girl friend. I have had the urge to post a wanted ad something like this: Wanted: Gal pal. Must be able to hold an intelligent conversation and have a sense of humor. Must drive (I will gladly help pay for gas... I just hate driving). Should probably not be a health nut, but whatever floats your boat. Things we ca do: read, write, go to see shows, work out (need motivation), eat, take advantage of awesome downtown Greenville, garage sales shopping, workshops, etc.
The long and short is that I have become an introverted hermit since college. I have a love/hate relationship with the hermit status. I do love wearing my pajamas pretty much all the time. But I really could use some human interaction and I want to get out more.
I kind of feel like the second and third part of this are pretty similar and ehhh... Feeling over Thinking? I like that I am empathetic, but geez. I think, too. I rationalize. I analyze. I guess I do make some decisions based on feeling... like deciding to major in Humanities. haha! I loved college and I feel proud of my education, but it certainly didn't seem to help me get a job. I don't know. I guess that, at the end of my life, I'd rather say that I followed my heart on most of my life decisions, but I do weigh my options and I don't disregard what is right based on my personal feelings.
I completely disagree with the last bit. I could be wrong, but Judging over Perceiving does not sound like me at all. I know this is not all it's talking about, but I have long prided myself that I, like Albus Dumbledore, see the good in people and give them many chances. I play the devil's advocate like no one's business. I don't judge a book by its cover, but then again, when it comes to actual books, I usually do judge them by the cover. Hmm..
Whatever. I am me. And I may have been watching The Office while taking this test. I can't guarantee that each answer was given my full attention. I was busy laughing at Dwight, you know.
I scored:
INFJ
Introvert(33%) iNtuitive(25%) Feeling(62%) Judging(56%)
- You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (33%)
- You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (25%)
- You have distinctive preference of Feeling over Thinking (62%)
- You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (56%)
It's funny. I always considered myself to be something of an extrovert while growing up. I think I almost needed to be social because my sister was so shy and my brother was always getting in to trouble. Living in their shadows, I needed to be different, and different meant social butterfly. I went to a tiny school in a town where everyone knew everyone and I think there were about 50 students in my graduating class. I made it a point to look through my yearbook each year to make sure I had spoken to everyone in my class. I was not a very popular girl, but I was a nice girl and I liked just about everyone.
Since college, however, I have found it astonishingly hard to make friends. I feel less comfortable in crowds. I like being home and working on crafts or reading or spending time with my husband... Going out after I get home from work is a chore. But I do get lonely for a girl friend. I have had the urge to post a wanted ad something like this: Wanted: Gal pal. Must be able to hold an intelligent conversation and have a sense of humor. Must drive (I will gladly help pay for gas... I just hate driving). Should probably not be a health nut, but whatever floats your boat. Things we ca do: read, write, go to see shows, work out (need motivation), eat, take advantage of awesome downtown Greenville, garage sales shopping, workshops, etc.
The long and short is that I have become an introverted hermit since college. I have a love/hate relationship with the hermit status. I do love wearing my pajamas pretty much all the time. But I really could use some human interaction and I want to get out more.
I kind of feel like the second and third part of this are pretty similar and ehhh... Feeling over Thinking? I like that I am empathetic, but geez. I think, too. I rationalize. I analyze. I guess I do make some decisions based on feeling... like deciding to major in Humanities. haha! I loved college and I feel proud of my education, but it certainly didn't seem to help me get a job. I don't know. I guess that, at the end of my life, I'd rather say that I followed my heart on most of my life decisions, but I do weigh my options and I don't disregard what is right based on my personal feelings.
I completely disagree with the last bit. I could be wrong, but Judging over Perceiving does not sound like me at all. I know this is not all it's talking about, but I have long prided myself that I, like Albus Dumbledore, see the good in people and give them many chances. I play the devil's advocate like no one's business. I don't judge a book by its cover, but then again, when it comes to actual books, I usually do judge them by the cover. Hmm..
Whatever. I am me. And I may have been watching The Office while taking this test. I can't guarantee that each answer was given my full attention. I was busy laughing at Dwight, you know.
Friday, September 6, 2013
The Night I Thought My Life Would End
Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid.
I am often afraid. I am afraid of driving. I am afraid of burglars. I am afraid of abductions in parking lots and of creepy crawly things and of failure and of heights and of the dark and of germs. I am so afraid of the horror genre in general that I get almost queasy-upset when I accidentally see horror movie covers. It's pretty bad. I think I have become more afraid of things since I've become an adult than when I was a child. I don't think that I was overly scared of spiders, snakes, or large insects as a kid. Now the thought of cockroaches makes my skin crawl. Ugh! But enough about that. Let me tell you about the moment when I was more scared than I had ever been in my life.
I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. My sister, my best friend, and I thought it would be cool to sleep in the camper that we had parked in the back yard. Now, when I say yard, I mean that this camper was parked on the far end of our three acre lot, furthest from the house and close to the large woods owned by my neighbor. I don't even know why we had that camper. I don't think we owned it. It's like someone had asked us to park it there, a friend or relative, until they could pick it up. No one ever used it, so it's not like it was a camper meth lab a la Breaking Bad... It was just there. And so we thought it would be cool to sleep there one night.
The camper had no power, no working toilet, no niceties at all. It was just somewhere different to sleep and we could be loud and obnoxious with our girl talk without waking my mom, stepdad, and brother. So out we went and caused quite the ruckus. I remember vividly that I was at one end of the camper on a couch thing, and I think Julianna (my sister) was on the floor and my best gal pal Alicia was on the other end of the camper. We were laughing about crushes and I am almost certain that we were making fun of the newest Backstreet Boys song when the camper started to shake.
I stopped moving. I stopped breathing.
I was certain I was about to die. Surely some hook-handed, glass eyed, serial killer had heard the girlish giggles and followed his ears to our pow-wow, intent on our doom. I had never felt so tensely terrified in my entire life. And that includes all of the times that I had gone against my better judgment and watched Are You Afraid of the Dark? (Yes, yes I was afraid of the dark. I'm still not crazy about it).
The camper continued shaking for several petrifying minutes. Julianna, Alicia, and I shivered in silence, until I heard Alicia calmly call out, "Hi!"
What in God's name did she mean by it?!?! I was nearly wetting myself with fright and she was greeting our killer like a friend?! It was more than I could handle. I may have blacked out there for a moment because the next thing I knew, my mom, stepdad, and brother were clambering into the camper, laughing all the way. I was relieved but very angry. My sister claimed she had not been afraid for our lives, but thought maybe a deer or something was humping the camper. (Really? What a weirdo!) Alicia said she had seen my stepdad's characteristically messy hair silhouetted through the window. I alone had been scared out of my wits.
I think that is actually pretty typical.
I am often afraid. I am afraid of driving. I am afraid of burglars. I am afraid of abductions in parking lots and of creepy crawly things and of failure and of heights and of the dark and of germs. I am so afraid of the horror genre in general that I get almost queasy-upset when I accidentally see horror movie covers. It's pretty bad. I think I have become more afraid of things since I've become an adult than when I was a child. I don't think that I was overly scared of spiders, snakes, or large insects as a kid. Now the thought of cockroaches makes my skin crawl. Ugh! But enough about that. Let me tell you about the moment when I was more scared than I had ever been in my life.
I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. My sister, my best friend, and I thought it would be cool to sleep in the camper that we had parked in the back yard. Now, when I say yard, I mean that this camper was parked on the far end of our three acre lot, furthest from the house and close to the large woods owned by my neighbor. I don't even know why we had that camper. I don't think we owned it. It's like someone had asked us to park it there, a friend or relative, until they could pick it up. No one ever used it, so it's not like it was a camper meth lab a la Breaking Bad... It was just there. And so we thought it would be cool to sleep there one night.
The camper had no power, no working toilet, no niceties at all. It was just somewhere different to sleep and we could be loud and obnoxious with our girl talk without waking my mom, stepdad, and brother. So out we went and caused quite the ruckus. I remember vividly that I was at one end of the camper on a couch thing, and I think Julianna (my sister) was on the floor and my best gal pal Alicia was on the other end of the camper. We were laughing about crushes and I am almost certain that we were making fun of the newest Backstreet Boys song when the camper started to shake.
I stopped moving. I stopped breathing.
I was certain I was about to die. Surely some hook-handed, glass eyed, serial killer had heard the girlish giggles and followed his ears to our pow-wow, intent on our doom. I had never felt so tensely terrified in my entire life. And that includes all of the times that I had gone against my better judgment and watched Are You Afraid of the Dark? (Yes, yes I was afraid of the dark. I'm still not crazy about it).
The camper continued shaking for several petrifying minutes. Julianna, Alicia, and I shivered in silence, until I heard Alicia calmly call out, "Hi!"
What in God's name did she mean by it?!?! I was nearly wetting myself with fright and she was greeting our killer like a friend?! It was more than I could handle. I may have blacked out there for a moment because the next thing I knew, my mom, stepdad, and brother were clambering into the camper, laughing all the way. I was relieved but very angry. My sister claimed she had not been afraid for our lives, but thought maybe a deer or something was humping the camper. (Really? What a weirdo!) Alicia said she had seen my stepdad's characteristically messy hair silhouetted through the window. I alone had been scared out of my wits.
I think that is actually pretty typical.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Start Small
Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.
I have asked for and taken probably a good bit more than my share of advice in my life. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am not the most independent person. I listen to advice, store it within my enormous memory, and now I can pass on to you some of the best and most mind-blowing advice I have ever received.
Are you ready for it?
Here it goes:
Start small.
Yep. That's it. Start small. This advice came from a professor of mine in college at Kentucky Christian University. Dr. Fawn Knight taught a number of my classes including English Comp I, Arts and Humanities in Eastern Culture, Masterpieces of British Literature, Renaissance Literature, Drama, and Creative Writing. This nugget of golden truth came from Dr. Knight during my Maymester Creative Writing course. There were only five or six students in that class, and Dr. Knight's ever encouraging spirit was so motivating to our tired minds. Dr. Knight taught me a lot in those three weeks, but "Start small" is the one I remember the most clearly. She bought each of my classmates and me tiny picture frames and had those words printed in them on our last day of class to be a constant reminder.
Because it is a reminder that we all need and it is a statement by which to live. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes... by cleaning my house top to bottom, or embarking on an enormous new novel that never seems to get any shorter, or writing for pleasure (because I always want my writing to be a masterpiece and, let's face it, it is not), or looking at all of the fit and beautiful people who live at the gym... Relax. Breathe. One step at a time. When you are feeling overwhelmed, out of place, unhappy with your surroundings, dissatisfied with what you are doing, it does not all need to be fixed, completed, or beautiful right away. Start small. You've got this!
I have asked for and taken probably a good bit more than my share of advice in my life. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am not the most independent person. I listen to advice, store it within my enormous memory, and now I can pass on to you some of the best and most mind-blowing advice I have ever received.
Are you ready for it?
Here it goes:
Start small.
Yep. That's it. Start small. This advice came from a professor of mine in college at Kentucky Christian University. Dr. Fawn Knight taught a number of my classes including English Comp I, Arts and Humanities in Eastern Culture, Masterpieces of British Literature, Renaissance Literature, Drama, and Creative Writing. This nugget of golden truth came from Dr. Knight during my Maymester Creative Writing course. There were only five or six students in that class, and Dr. Knight's ever encouraging spirit was so motivating to our tired minds. Dr. Knight taught me a lot in those three weeks, but "Start small" is the one I remember the most clearly. She bought each of my classmates and me tiny picture frames and had those words printed in them on our last day of class to be a constant reminder.
Because it is a reminder that we all need and it is a statement by which to live. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes... by cleaning my house top to bottom, or embarking on an enormous new novel that never seems to get any shorter, or writing for pleasure (because I always want my writing to be a masterpiece and, let's face it, it is not), or looking at all of the fit and beautiful people who live at the gym... Relax. Breathe. One step at a time. When you are feeling overwhelmed, out of place, unhappy with your surroundings, dissatisfied with what you are doing, it does not all need to be fixed, completed, or beautiful right away. Start small. You've got this!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Hawaii: my heart's partial home
Wednesday, September 4: If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do? (bonus points for fun photos from Pinterest, but don’t forget to cite the source!)
Three months. Three MONTHS. THREE months. Hmm.
My initial reaction is that I would visit my family. This may sound totally tame and cheesy and lame to some, but understand this: my entire immediate family lives in Hawaii. I live in upstate South Carolina. Sure, it is nice here and winter doesn't feel anything like the harsh, hellish nightmare is was in my 24 years in Ohio. But come on! I live in South Carolina. My family lives in HAWAII.
I don't wish to go to Hawaii to go to Hawaii. I genuinely wish to be with my family, with whom I am incredibly close (this is especially true for my mom and my sister). Hawaii is actually just kind of a bonus. Here's the clincher: my dear, sweet husband is petrified of air travel. I honestly don't know if I will ever get him in an airplane. It is heartbreaking, really, because I do love to travel. I have been to England, Ireland, and Dominican Republic all by air and I'd love to see more of the world. I've been to Hawaii three times. I want to be there pretty much all of the time. But Kyle is not and will not be a flier. Bummer.
Do you have anyone who you are so close to that you feel completely incomplete without them? To me, that person is actually two people: my mom and my sister. We have more than a typical family bond. We belong in the same places. And we're a hoot when we're together.
Three months. Three MONTHS. THREE months. Hmm.
My initial reaction is that I would visit my family. This may sound totally tame and cheesy and lame to some, but understand this: my entire immediate family lives in Hawaii. I live in upstate South Carolina. Sure, it is nice here and winter doesn't feel anything like the harsh, hellish nightmare is was in my 24 years in Ohio. But come on! I live in South Carolina. My family lives in HAWAII.
I don't wish to go to Hawaii to go to Hawaii. I genuinely wish to be with my family, with whom I am incredibly close (this is especially true for my mom and my sister). Hawaii is actually just kind of a bonus. Here's the clincher: my dear, sweet husband is petrified of air travel. I honestly don't know if I will ever get him in an airplane. It is heartbreaking, really, because I do love to travel. I have been to England, Ireland, and Dominican Republic all by air and I'd love to see more of the world. I've been to Hawaii three times. I want to be there pretty much all of the time. But Kyle is not and will not be a flier. Bummer.
Do you have anyone who you are so close to that you feel completely incomplete without them? To me, that person is actually two people: my mom and my sister. We have more than a typical family bond. We belong in the same places. And we're a hoot when we're together.
Green Sands Beach near South Point, Hawaii.
My brave and beautiful sister swinging from a reclaimed rope swing in Pololu Valley, Hawaii.
Me, relaxing in a reclaimed rope hammock, also in Pololu Valley.
A lovely, lonely dried riverbed.
The Pololu Valley shore
Blogtember!
I did not do well on the last blog challenge and I am already day behind on this one, but I feel determined to write lately! I may lack the motivation, but I am sincerely hoping the prompts will help me on my way. I have wanted to be a writer since I was a skinny little girl, and it's ridiculous that I just don't do it anymore because I have slacked off in discipline. It's my dream, so I need to do it already! Here's the blog that Blogtember comes from!
Tuesday, Sept. 3: Describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.
I'm a small town girl. Maybe not even that. I'm more of an out-in-the-sticks girl. I grew up in rural, corn and soybean field Ohio. My house was surrounded on three sides by corn fields and my road was of the chip and seal type without any lines. During the big snows of winter, we were pretty much left to fend for ourselves because there were so few houses on our little road that the snow plows did not usually bother to plow our road. I'm the youngest of three, but there are only 26 months between the three of us. My stepsister is a little older, but I'm really not sure how much. Is that bad?
I have always felt like I was my own person, uniquely me and happy to be so. I found it strangely funny when a one time friend told me amid my painful adolescent years full of acne, bad decision perms (thanks, Mom), and first rebellions that I "tried too hard to be different." I very nearly took it as a compliment as I considered her brand name tee shirt and bleached blond highlights and scornfully told her, "You try too hard to be the same."
Though I was and am me and only me, I have never been a very independent person; something I wish I could change, but it is so fundamental to my person that I don't know if it ever will. I do not like making decisions, especially when deciding between two things that I like. I always used to ask my mom which gown my Barbie doll should wear because I could not decide which I liked better. She always made me choose, but I continued to ask. I also lack independence in that I hate driving. I don't just hate it. I fear it. I am perfectly fine with just about anyone else driving, but driving myself somewhere new just terrifies me. I drive only to and from work or the grocery store or my mother-in-law's house. It is super lame, but when asked to drive somewhere out of my comfort zone, I sort of panic.
I think the fact that I am from such a small town has both aided and paralyzed my capacity for friendship. My best friend has been my best friend for 20 years. I am 27 years old. My other best friend is one I met in college and we do not get to talk nearly enough, but can always pick up right where we left off. Since college, however, I have struggled to make friends. I had known the same group of people my whole life, then started again in a small college community, which worked very well for me. I loved college and it loved me. I have never considered myself to be a popular type, but in college, I just knew and loved everyone. I consider it one of the greatest honors of my life to have been elected as Homecoming Queen (though I did not win, I was the runner-up) my senior year of college. The struggle to make friends after college springs from having moved to an entirely new place where I know no one but my in-laws and co-workers (of which there are four) and from my fear of driving. Don't get me wrong, I have tried. I joined two different bible studies, participated in events, and took a few workshops. Nothing. In my older age, I find myself too shy (which has never been a problem for me) to talk to anyone. It's painful. The small town mindset is not ideal for forming new friendships as I had grown accustomed to already knowing everyone. I find it hard to talk about myself and find small talk to be a complete bore. I may be becoming a hermit and I am torn about how I feel about it. At least I have a lovely husband, two splendid cats, an adorable pup, and a few fish to keep me company.
Tuesday, Sept. 3: Describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.
Wednesday, September 4: If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do? (bonus points for fun photos from Pinterest, but don’t forget to cite the source!)
Thursday, September 5: Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.
Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid.
Monday, September 9: Take this short personality test and respond to your results. (at the end, find the detailed profile of your personality account – click “click to view” under “You” and “self awareness and personal growth.” You can even google your type and find more info on it!)
Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.
Wednesday, September 11: Share links to your favorite online shops, preferably with a few photos of your favorite items in each shop.
Thursday, September 12: Discuss ways that blogging or social media has changed you.
Friday, September 13: A self portrait
Monday, September 16: Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn’t necessarily need to be romantic.)
Tuesday, September 17: A memory you would love to relive.
Wednesday, September 18: Only photos
Thursday, September 19: Creative writing day: write a (very short) fictional story that starts with this sentence: “To say I was dreading the dinner party would be the understatement of the century.”
The story does not necessarily need to have a conclusion – you can leave your readers wishing for more!
Friday, September 20: React to this term: comfort.
Monday, September 23: A “life lately” post. What you’re up to, how you’re feeling, how you’re doing on your goals, etc. Bonus points for great photos!
Tuesday, September 24: Review a book, place, or product.
Wednesday, September 25: Write about a time you screwed up – a mistake you made.
Thursday, September 26: Go to a coffee shop. Order a favorite drink. Write about what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Or write about anything you’d like! Bonus points for including a photo from the coffee shop. *if you can’t make it to a coffee shop, at least leave your usual space and write someplace new.
Friday, September 27: An anonymous letter to your Facebook friends. Be as snarky as you’d like. (but don’t include people’s real names.)
Monday, September 30: Share a photo of something old. Maybe something that has personal history for you, that was passed down to you, and that has special meaning to you. Tell us about it and why it’s special.
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