How NOT to get a job at Aerie

i'm coming to the conclusion that i suck at job hunting.  i just hate it.  It stresses me out and makes me feel like an idiot.  i start ambitiously and then move on to the more and more mundane and embarrassing.  Next stop, McDonald's i guess.

So i was turning in applications at the Haywood Mall yesterday and decided it couldn't hurt to apply at Aerie, the American Eagle undies shop.  (Oddly enough, i could never see myself working at American Eagle).  i filled out the application form and handed it in to the disheveled sixteen year old behind the counter who proceeded to look it over.  "Oh, so you just moved here, huh?" she asked.  "Why are you interested in working at Aerie?"
-i want to imagine what everyone looks like in these underwear.
-i want to follow people around, tantalizing them with deals on "tangas" and thongs.
-i am fresh out of undies and could really use a discount.
Not.  i just need a job.
Next, she asked, "Do you have any management or retail experience?"
-This coming from a sixteen year old?  How about i have a Bachelor of Arts degree?
-Yes indeedy, i was the top lollipop salesmen of the Leetonia High School choir.
-Oh, this is a retail/management position?  i thought i was applying to be a model/bouncer.

Seriously. 

Dreams

Last night i dreamed that i was in a scavenger hunt (think Amazing Race) with Kyle and we were given our destination ahead of time.  We did a dry run and found the coordinates led to a junk yard.  Kyle stayed in the junk yard and i went to do laundry with some random dude from college.  

So then, this dude and i were walking along this alley when a guy and girl approached us.  i knew somehow that they were up to no good and wanted to beat us up and take our money, but this guy i was with (who i wish to remain nameless) didn't know.  The guy who approached us was also sometimes in one of those scooter chairs.  He asked us if we had any extra underwear.  (HAHA).  i told him that i didn't, but the guy with me said, "No, man, i only have what i'm wearing."  So, the kid in the scooter said, "i wouldn't ask you for them, but could you help me out?  i've... blasted mine a few times."  i believe that i laughed in my sleep at this point.  My brain is so weird.
But of course, the guy with me was trying to be Christ-like, and why not help out this helpless dude in a wheelchair who crapped himself?  He proceeded to try to get his underoos off without revealing himself.  i helpfully held up a washcloth to cover him (HAHA), all the while urgently whispering that we needed to get out of that alley.  Then i knocked the scooter kid down and we took off toward the junk yard where Kyle was located.  i was screaming, "Kyle!  Kyle!!!!!"  And he ran out to help me.  i quickly explained what i could as the "thugs" chased us in, and Kyle ran out and heroically beat some scooter butts.  i felt so safe.  hahahaha

i also dreamed of an underwater world filled with treasure!  It was beautiful and magical.  Precious stones hung from delicate chains from spikes of coral, glittering and swaying with the waves.  Ornate wooden furniture sat waiting to be occupied.  It was so relaxing and gorgeous.  And then i woke up....

Day Two

Hello again =]

It's been a chilly and frustrating day.  i have to say, i am really tired of job hunting.  i kept myself busy in other ways today.  i dug out the box of books that has sat in the garage since we moved to SC and then had to reorganize all of my bookshelves in order to incorporate them.  This task kept me busy for longer than it should have because sorting my books is almost a religious experience for me.  i get very emotionally attached to concepts and characters.  i like my books to be next to books i think they'd get along with if they were human and i also wanted to sort what i have read vs. what i haven't read... vs. what i have read in part.  And then there was the matter of book size and shelf size.  And journal upon journal.  Oh dear.  i would like to have one of those walls that is lined completely with bookshelves one day.  Here are some other things i would like to have:
-a Cadbury chocolate bar
-a haircut
-a cat... namely, my one-eyed calico, Fiona, who is living with my mom right now
-a good eyelash curler
-my own home
-a job
-a sewing machine
-friends in this area of the world.

It is awfully lonely in your world when you move away and know only your husband and his family.  It seems like everyone is busy but me.  hmmf.

 

Brand New

Today i decided that i would like to exist. 

Whilst nursing a headache and getting frustrated by the job hunt, i thought it would be a good idea to watch The New Adventures of Pipi Longstocking.  As a girl, i was obsessed with Pipi.  i dressed up like her for Halloween one year.  i'd like to do that again, actually.  i think what i liked about Pipi was her independence, courage, and spunk.  i regret to say that i visibly lack these three traits.  And so, in a fit of bravery, i decided that the time is ripe to exist... i created a blog.

Since Christopher and Yanira, the two Career Service Specialists i spoke to today, were SO interested, i thought i'd tell the world my greatest ambitions:
-i would like to sing for Disney movies. 
-i would like to be a published novelist.
-i would like to be glamorously beautiful.
-i would like to participate in a reality tv show (The Amazing Race).
-i would like to be a lifelong student.
-i would like to invent the flavors of ice cream and and the names of nail polishes and lipsticks.
-i would like to be a darling wife and mother.
-i would like to make arts and crafts for a living.

Christopher and Yanira did not care for these responses.  Well, they wouldn't have, so i didn't tell them.  But someone might.  And i most certainly do.

This is my first post and i'd like to see what becomes of this blog as i continue.  =]